


Joe was the honeypot.

by Cockbite (personalized_radio)



Series: Assassinations and Feelings [7]
Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Assassinations and feelings, Fake Chop Au, aleks almost fucks a pirate for his crew, also aleks and joe kiss surprise!!, fakehaus is in it, james......is not happy about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 17:04:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11189517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personalized_radio/pseuds/Cockbite
Summary: They all had their roles to fill, with a little redundancy between them all on the chance that someone got hurt and couldn’t do their job, but Joe’s primary responsibility was honeypotting. When they needed information, they sent him in to get friendly with the mark and find out what they needed. He was attractive and cleaned up nice, but he was also unassuming and non-threatening unless he needed to be and he put on masks as easily as breathing. He also, surprising everyone aside from maybe James, had little in way of morals holding him back. Seducing someone, breaking apart marriages or friendships, stealing from children, becoming someone’s best friend, their confidant, slowly working his way in until he’d cut them off from every other pillar of support and then taking what he and his crew needed without mercy; all of it, he did without a single blink or a break in his sweet smile. When Aleks thought about it, it really only made sense that Joe and James were so close - James was the only person that could tell when Joe was being genuine.





	Joe was the honeypot.

**Author's Note:**

> so this one is a lil....weird. it mostly happened bc Allrighthello on tumblr and i were talking about jealous!james and then she sent me a piece of novahd art called 'shotgunning' that kittn-boi on tumblr did and like.........jesus i had to write about it.
> 
> you can find me at [on Tumblr](https://cockbite.tumblr.com/) if you'd like! I post fake/gta!au stuff :)

Joe was the honeypot.

They all had their roles to fill, with a little redundancy between them all on the chance that someone got hurt and couldn’t do their job, but Joe’s primary responsibility was honeypotting. When they needed information, they sent him in to get friendly with the mark and find out what they needed. He was attractive and cleaned up nice, but he was also unassuming and non-threatening unless he needed to be and he put on masks as easily as breathing. He also, surprising everyone aside from maybe James, had little in way of morals holding him back. Seducing someone, breaking apart marriages or friendships, stealing from children, becoming someone’s best friend, their confidant, slowly working his way in until he’d cut them off from every other pillar of support and then taking what he and his crew needed without mercy; all of it, he did without a single blink or a break in his sweet smile. When Aleks thought about it, it really only made sense that Joe and James were so close - James was the only person that could tell when Joe was being genuine.

The thing was that sometimes Joe was preoccupied. His jobs tended to last weeks or months - it wasn’t easy, integrating him into the places he needed to be while being safe and protecting him from discovery. Every job required a whole new person, courtesy of Aron and Trevor, and a whole new look, courtesy of Anna and Asher. That was why they tended to stick to one information dig every once in a while, going for someone middle of the line but with a direct enough connection to the big guys that they would have access to what Joe needed.

But sometimes things happened and they needed to wiggle their way into someone else’s life while Joe was already on a task. When that happened, Aleks was Joe’s redundancy. He wasn’t as skilled as Joe, he was too closed off and unwilling to share himself - even a fake himself - to make friends, but if all they needed him to do was seduce his way into someone’s house and get some papers or whatever, he could handle the pressure.

This was one of those times.

-

“Get into the house,” Trevor tapped at a small drill sitting innocently on the table next to a few pictures of their mark, “All you need to do is keep him occupied while Anna and Asher turn over the office.”

“Why am I doing this again?” Aleks asked, annoyed, “If it’s just an infiltration job, I really don’t see why I need to fuck some dude,”

“He checks the office meticulously and it’s attached to his bedroom,” James spoke up. He’d been leaning against the wall, arms crossed and holding a smoldering cigarette, since they’d started, “He needs to be distracted and we’ve been informed by the reliable source that is Ramsey that the only thing that distracts him are cute blonds so it was a toss between you and Trevor and, let’s be real, Trevor ain’t that cute.”

“Fuck you,” Trevor shot him the bird, “I’m hotter than Aleks,”  
“So you’re saying _you_ go in,” James raised an eyebrow and Trevor coughed.

“Aleks is so fuckin’ cute, dude,” He said firmly, “Only you could do this. I believe in you -  wholeheartedly.”

“You’re an asshole,” Aleks said with feeling, “And I fuckin’ hate you.”

“Don’t complain,” James rolled his eyes, inhaling from his cigarette slowly, “It’ll take a few hours’ tops and we’re gonna make thousands off what we find in this fuck’s house. Maybe a million.”  
“Who is he, anyway?” Aleks set on the table, sliding the mark’s picture from in front of Trevor to in front of himself and looking him over, “I feel like you guys have been doing some shit behind my back. That’s a pretty big number, James.”

“Geoff sent me the mission two days ago and I had Trevor look into it,” James said, not taking his eyes off the picture Aleks was looking over, ashing onto the floor, “He’s got connections to a few small fries across the world, with a higher count across Asia. He’s basically a taxi for product and moves them here and there. We’re looking for his records and Geoff wants a few specific locations. In exchange, Cockbite is going to pay us for everything else we find and move it for us.”

“That’s a lot of shit for some guy. Why aren’t they doing it themselves?” Aleks stared down at the picture, “Who is he for real, James?”

“Knowing Geoff, he could be anyone,” James left the cigarette dangling from his lips and shoved his hands into his pockets, finally walking over to come to the table and talking around the filter, “I don’t know why they didn’t send their own blond twink in. Gavin is a lot more experienced at this shit than you, but he asked us to do it. Called in a favor and everything.”

Aleks, looking over the bald man in the picture and trying to picture how exactly he was gonna go about catching this guy’s attention, didn’t feel good about this.

“Hey,” James stepped into his space, dropping his voice and moving the cigarette between two fingers so his mouth was free, “Look at me.”

Aleks glanced at Trevor, who grumbled but turned around to make himself look busy on the other side of the room, and then looked at James. Usually he was a little shorter, but the table was pretty tall so he was looking down and, for once, James was looking up.

“You don’t like this?” James motioned to the picture with the cigarette, “We’ll back out. We owe Geoff, yeah, but I’m not gonna force you. Say the word and it’s called.”

“Something feels off about it,” Aleks sighed, “I want more information, but...If Geoff is asking, I’ll do it. I’ll keep him distracted, you guys pull the records.”

“You sure?” James raised an eyebrow, looking a little amused. He leaned up, tilting his head until they were so close that Aleks had to close his eyes. James had started to become a little more bold since their move to Cali, doing shit like this just because he knew that Aleks wasn’t going to be the one with enough self-control to stop him. Trevor and Joe had been the only ones to walk in so far - but that meant that the whole crew knew at this point. “If you aren’t a little less enthusiastic, I might get jealous.”

“Careful, dear,” He didn’t back down, nearly closing what little distance James had left, “Keep talkin’ like that and people will think you’re in love with me,”

James scoffed, but his eyes were dark and confusing to look at and they made Aleks’ stomach feel weird so he leaned back, stealing his cigarette and taking a deep drag. James’ eyes left his, dropped down to stare at his mouth.

“That’s mine. You should give it back,” James licked his lips and Aleks, holding the smoke in his lungs, registering the burn, guided James’ face into tilting up with brushes of his fingers under his chin and leaned down to press their lips together. James opened his mouth easily and inhaled as Aleks exhaled, sharing the burn between them before it escaped into the air, hot and gray.

“You gonna do that with him?” James asked, so quiet Aleks almost couldn’t hear him, and Aleks found himself not wanting to tease, because he didn’t think James was asking as a joke.

“No,” He said simply, watching the way James let him touch his jaw and throat so easily, without any hesitation. His fingers followed the way James’ Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed slowly, taking in James’ still closed eyes and the way his shoulders relaxed just a little at Aleks’ answer.

“You should,” James finally said, opening his eyes and catching Aleks in a gaze that had him frozen on the inside, “It’d work.”

“Maybe,” Aleks shrugged and they both knew he wouldn’t.

-

“He likes ‘em stupid and he likes them taken,” Joe whispered into his ear. He’d have to leave soon, get back to his own mark, but the Corpirate wasn’t just a simple Legally Blonde trick away from seduced and James had called him in for the night to give some advice.

“You know this because…?” Aleks glanced up from his drink to where the Corpirate had settled in the VIP area of the club, taking in the eyepatch and the strong, long face. He was handsome, in a villainous kind of way. He looked...mean, though. Aleks wouldn’t have gone for him if he were on the hunt for himself.

“Asked around,” Joe downed a shot, “And because his type don’t want people looking for more than hots and bills and he’s got plenty of both. You’ll be a catch, Malfoy.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Aleks ran a hand through his hair, an even lighter blond than it had been yesterday, “I don’t look like fucking Draco Malfoy, you nerd.”

“He likes that,” Joe nudged him, “It’s his type. It’s a good thing.”

“Whatever,” Aleks followed Joe’s example and took the shot of vodka in front of him, wrinkling his nose up at the shitty taste but not bothering to chase it, “Okay, how are we doing this?”  
“Brett’s been keeping the blonde-count to a minimum,” Joe leaned in to whisper and then stood up and grabbed his head to lead him onto the dance floor. The crowd wasn’t thick, it was a Wednesday and early in the night at that, but Joe stuck close like they were in a crowd, plastering his body to Aleks’ and looping his arms around his neck. Aleks settled his hands low on Joe’s hips and leaned down so Joe could lean up and, under the guise of kissing his neck, continue to whisper to him.

“He likes to take things,” Joe continued and Aleks closed his eyes, tapping at Joe’s hip to show that he was listening, “All of the partners he’s taken in the last few weeks, he basically swooped in and stole from who _they_ came with,”

“Sounds like an asshole,” Aleks commented and Joe smiled, bright and infatuated.

“He is, and he’s watching. We’re gonna kiss and then I’m going to go to the restroom. If he doesn’t come after you then, we may be fucked. Do it now.”

“I’ll get him to come after me,” Aleks promised, slowly sliding his hands from Joe’s hips, up his sides and over his shoulders to cup his jaw, tilting his head up so he could lean down and kiss him.

They made it look good; This wasn’t the first time Aleks had kissed someone else for a job and it was a little weird that it was Joe but it wasn’t so weird that Aleks was gonna throw the mission over it. It was dirty, designed to draw attention and keep it on them, and Joe knew what to do to pull the best reactions out of him - either Joe was really that good or _fucking_ James had told him.  Joe tangled his hands in Aleks’ hair and Aleks didn’t look over his shoulder to see if the Corpirate was watching because everyone on the floor was, he could feel their eyes on them, and Joe wouldn’t have told him to do it if they hadn’t had the right audience. When Joe tugged on his hair, just enough to get his attention, he broke the kiss to stand up straight again, his face warm in the heat of the club.

“I’m going to be fucking murdered,” Joe smiled again when they made eye contact, laughing a little that they were both flushed pink. Aleks found himself laughing, too, because this was fucking _weird_ and it wasn’t that Joe wasn’t attractive but...but nothing. Aleks couldn’t be thinking about _anyone else_ , especially not fucking _James_ , right now.

“What do you mean?”  
“Don’t worry about it,” Joe slid his hands from his hair and nodded to the restroom, “I’ll be back.”

“Yeah,” Aleks let him go, watching him disappear into the hall leading to the restrooms and then returned to the bar, holding up two fingers for the bartender so he didn’t have to yell over the music.

He leaned over his and Joe’s table, maybe just a little provocatively, and slid his eyes around the room slowly. He took in the crowd, sipping from his beer casually, before finally letting his eyes wander to the VIP area. When he made eye contact with the Corpirate, he knew that the plan had been a success. His gaze was hot, practically eating Aleks alive, and Aleks took another slow sip of his beer and didn’t break eye contact. The Corpirate glanced over him, an all-black look he and Asher had thrown together that showed off his arms and his chest but wasn’t so tight he couldn’t move comfortably and a pair of tight skinny jeans, and must have liked what he saw because he motioned for one of his guys to approach.

Aleks didn’t react, letting the bodyguard - gun on his hip, no jacket to keep his arms free, earpiece for communication - come to him.

“You know who that is?” The guard asked, voice gruff, when he’d reached the table.

“Big shot?” Aleks offered, taking another drink, and the guard smirked at the response.

“ _Big_ shot. He wants you to come say hi. Sans the boyfriend.”  
Aleks paused, gave the Corpirate an appraising look, and then set the beer down, “What boyfriend?”

“That’s what he likes to hear,” the guard nodded and Aleks left his beer behind, pushing his hands into his pockets and following behind him back to the VIP area, body loose and relaxed.

“Nice of ye’ ta’ be joinin’ us,” The Corpirate said and Aleks had been warned about the fucking accent, he’d been _warned_ , but there was a difference between being warned and actually hearing this guy with muscles bigger than his head speaking like a cliché pirate.

“Thanks,” Aleks said simply, forcing himself to get a grip on his reaction. He smirked, sitting in the cushioned chair that the Corpirate flicked his eyes toward and leaning back, resting his arms on the back of the booth and opening himself up, “Nice to meet you, man. Your friend there said you were a big shot but didn’t introduce you.”

“Ye’ can call me Teach,” the Corpirate offered a hand and, when Aleks took it, used it to pull him closer. Aleks went without protest, knee-walking across the booth’s cushioned seats until he was so close to the Corpirate that he had to look down, still on his knees and a few inches taller, “And y’erself?”  
“Alex,” Aleks bit his lip, flicking his eyes to the Corpirate’s lips and very carefully not looking at the scar peeking out from behind his eyepatch. Aleks knew about those kinda scars, and they weren’t meant to be stared at.

“Alex,” The Corpirate repeated and then used his free hand to creep over the back of Aleks neck and pull him down. It was a strong grip, firm and ungiving and _Aleks_ would have hated it but it was enough for _Alex’s_ breath to hitch. “Ye’ got a last name, Alex?”

“Don’t we all?” Alex dropped his voice, “You checkin’ up on me, Teach?”

“Aye, a little, sweetheart,” The Corpirate leaned up to whisper, hot breath on his ear, and Aleks shivered at the feeling, not quite comfortable with it but playing it up, “Now, y’er last name?”

“Markov,” Aleks laughed, “It’s Alex Markov.”  
“Hm,” The Corpirate finally let go of his hand so he could slide his large fingers down Aleks’ ribs, settling a little on his hip but mostly on his ass. “Russian.”  
“I was born there,” Aleks followed when the hand on his ass pushed him closer, until they were crowded together. He put his hands on the Corpirate’s chest for balance, thumb brushing against the skin revealed by the open buttons of his shirt, “But enough about me. I want to know more about you,”

He laughed and then pulled Aleks down into a kiss that Aleks returned without hesitation, closing his eyes and relaxing into the strong grip on the back of his neck. He had no control in this situation and he didn’t try to take it; the Corpirate didn’t seem one to want to share that kind of thing. Instead, he went easily, pushing into whatever touches offered with enthusiasm.

“More about me, ay?” The Corpirate glanced around at the club, dark but not very full at all, “Why don’t we ship outta this dead water port and I’ll show ye’ me captain’s quarters?”

Aleks, _pretty_ sure that he’d just been invited home with the good captain, licked his lips and nodded.

He spotted Brett at the front door, arms crossed and a black shirt with ‘SECURITY’ written in white across the front and back, as they were leaving. The Corpirate had flung a loose arm around his shoulders, a tight, possessive grip on his upper arm keeping Aleks against his side as they walked out of the building.

He glanced around, spotted Asher getting onto his bike down the street and Anna and Lindsey pressed together against the brick wall across the street, seemingly making out. If Aleks had to guess, he’s say that they’d been marking the Corpirate’s cars in case he went off road while Aleks was with him. It made the gross feeling in his gut, that he was in danger and needed to _get out_ , settle a little. His crew was there; they were waiting and watching. They’d pull him as soon as it got too dangerous.

A long, white limo pulled up as they were stepping out of the loud building, the door closing on the music and dancing and the heartbroken Joe that they’d passed, sitting at their table and staring forlornly at Aleks’ left behind beer.

They were feet from the limo, one of the bodyguards holding the door open for them, when Aleks looked away from the limo and nearly froze in place. Across the street, not far from Anna and Lindsey, leaning against the brick wall next to the door leading into the bar, was James. He was smoking again, two cigarettes in twenty-four hours when Aleks had gone the last few months without seeing him with more than a blunt every once in a while. Aleks watched the smoke exhaled from his lungs disappearing into the surrounding air and remembered last night, sitting at the table with James so close to him that he’d been sure that James could feel how rapidly his heart was beating. The heat of James’ skin was still on the tips of his fingers, where he’d traced them down his neck and across his jaw.

James ashed his cigarette, staring at Aleks from across the street, and Aleks felt his heart stutter. His stomach twisted and he had to wonder, later, if it showed on his face because James softened just before he ducked into the limo, breaking eye contact, and the Corpirate swooped in after him. The door slammed shut, locking the two of them inside, and Aleks mentally shook himself off and got back into character. James had _told him_ to do this.  

When the Corpirate pulled him closer again, he went with a flirty smile and no resistance.

-

He lived in a mansion. Aleks had known that, like he’d known about the accent, and it wasn’t like this was the first mansion he’d ever seen. Geoff owned the nicest penthouse in America, the HQ in Austin was located in what could only be described as a concrete castle, and James had settled into a pretty nice place when they’d moved to Cali that was hard to describe as anything other than big enough to house a small village of people.

Still, being familiar with places like this wasn’t quite enough to mean that Aleks wasn’t shocked into silence when the limo door opened and the Corpirate helped him out and pretended that he didn’t care about the stylized house on a nice stretch of private beach, or the yacht harbored in a small dock.

“This is me home away from home,” The Corpirate slid his arm over his shoulders again, the same possessive grip coming over his upper arm. Aleks was pretty sure he was bruising at this point. “I’ve got me real home tied ta’ port,” he motioned to the yacht and Aleks looked at it with appropriate levels of awe and impressed wonder, “But f’er ta’night…”

The bodyguards stayed behind at the front doors while the Corpirate led him inside, through a wide and luxurious open room and into a sitting room. Everything had been expertly decorated, more for aesthetics than actual living, with a ship-and-ocean motif and Aleks found the stuffed fish on the walls and all of model ships set around a little weird. There was a big window on the opposite wall, overlooking the lake and the tethered yacht.

“Nice place,” He turned, resting his waist against the back of one of the thick, cushy armchairs, “You said you were a big shot but…this is, uh,”

“Big?” The Corpirate raised an eyebrow and Aleks laughed, nodding.

“Yeah, _big_ ,” he gave him another look over, “Is a good word for it.”

The Corpirate took to the attention with ease, though Aleks could tell that he was pleased. “Aye, glad to see ye’ be pleased. Can I get ye’ a drink?”  
“Whatever you’re havin’, thanks.” Aleks followed his movements with his eyes, taking him in now that they were alone and Aleks could relax against the possibility of someone else catching his attention and fucking the whole thing up. The Corpirate was tall, maybe a few good inches taller than Aleks and Aleks wasn’t exactly short, with a shaved head and one eye more honey colored than brown. Aleks had noticed his muscles before, straining against the deep purple of his button-up as they were, but in the bright light of the room they were even more obvious. There was the complete possibility that this dude could fucking bench press him if he so chose.

His phone buzzed in his pocket while the Corpirate was pouring what looked to be whiskey on the rocks, so he pulled his phone out and checked his messages as quickly as he could.

 _You good for 3p?_ Trevor had sent, ending the text in an eyes emoji. Fifteen minutes ‘til go time and they had eyes on him, then.

 _Closer to 8p_ , he sent back, careful not to take his eyes off the Corpirate’s hands for more than a second and then put his phone away. A twenty-minute wait would be safer.

“Friend?” The Corpirate walked over with two glasses and handed one to Aleks, keeping the other for himself and knocking their rims together lightly before taking a sip.

“Safety text,” Aleks shrugged, putting on a _what can you do_ smile, “You know how it goes. You go out on a date and, the next thing you know, you’re swimmin’ with the fishes.”

The Corpirate laughed, “I hope ye will not soon be swimmin’ with any fishes,”

“Me, too,” Aleks offered his glass in a toast and then took a deep drink, his eyes watering a little at the strong drink but otherwise ignoring it, “But, uh, I had a different idea about what we could do. Other than swimming, I mean.”

Smooth.

The Corpirate seemed to like it, though, because he set his glass aside without looking and stepped into Aleks’ space, forcing Aleks to look up to keep eye contact. His hands went to Aleks’ waist again, pulled him until they were flush together and then leaned down to take his mouth in a hard kiss. Aleks went with it, free hand resting on the Corpirate’s shoulder and then shifting up his neck without thinking about it. The lack of hair, of the familiar feeling of long curls tangled in his fingers and a scratchy beard against his cheeks and neck when the kiss turned into trailing touches of lips along his jaw and to his throat, threw him off enough that he tensed up under the unfamiliar touch for just a moment.

“Sensitive?” The Corpirate said against the skin of his shoulder, where he was being sure to leave plenty of marks.  
“Mhm,” Aleks hummed, laughing a little, “A bit.”

“Ye’re soft,” The Corpirate inhaled, slow and deep and sending a prickle of discontent up Aleks’ spine, and then stepped back and looked Aleks over again, his eye dark and hungry, “I like it.”

“Thanks?” Aleks closed his eyes when one of the Corpirate’s big hands settled on his chest and then slid down, stopping to mess with the button of his jeans.

“Come upstairs with me, Alex.”

“‘s a lot of stairs,” Aleks said quietly, trying to keep his breathing steady but not able to stop it from coming _just a bit_ faster. The guy was hot, even if completely different from who he was used to, and his touch was skilled so it wasn’t that Aleks _wasn’t_ turned on, but something about it felt _wrong_ to him. Made his skin feel tight. It was just...fuck, he needed to get his head on straight. This was a fucking mission and he was going to fuck it up and not only lose a _lot_ of money for the crew but get himself fucking killed, too if he didn’t stop thinking about -

“I’ve got an elevator,” The Corpirate smirked and Aleks laughed, accepting the hand offered and letting himself be pulled from the room and down the hall, leaving his drink behind.

Just before he left, he glanced over his shoulder at the window and half wondered if James was out there, watching. Something about the thought of that made his chest go cold.

-

They were on the bed thirty minutes later, sans clothing, when the alarms went off, blaring loud enough to scare the fucking shit out of him.

“Jesus _Christ_ ,” He jolted upright, wide eyed and confused and nearly bashing his head into the Corpirate’s, “What the fuck is that?”  
“ _Shite_ ,” The Corpirate set up, climbing off of Aleks to grab his pants off the ground and shove them on hurriedly, “Some matey’s tryin’ ta’ hornswoggle the ol’ Cap, ay?”

“What does that...mean?” Aleks scrambled to the edge of the bed and leaned over to grab and pull his boxers on, but couldn’t find where they’d thrown his pants or shirt or even his fucking shoes, “What’s fucking happening?”  
“Stay here, lad,” The Corpirate pulled open the chest at the end of his bed and Aleks flinched away from the goddamn harpoon gun he pulled out, ducking out of the way from his wild brandishing, “This’ll take but a second,”

“Wait!” Aleks shouted, trying to think of some way to distract him or slow him down. There must have been some sort of fuck up, Aron or Trevor not hitting all the right keys or Anna or Asher missing the wrong trap, “Y-you can’t just leave me in here! What if someone comes in and you’re gone, I don’t know how to defend myself! I’m naked, for fuck’s sake!”

The Corpirate sighed in annoyance, looking Aleks over in a way much different than he had been earlier in the night and then at the locked door Aleks was pretty sure led to his office before he motioned for him to come closer, “Come with me, then. Stick close, listen closer, ‘n’ stay _down_ ,”

Aleks wrapped his arms around himself tightly and hurried to his side, staying on his heels when he shoved the bedroom door open and stepped out quickly. The Corpirate pulled a phone out of his pants, unlocking it and taking a look at the screen before he shoved it back into his pocket and started walking with purpose, not even glancing Aleks’ way.

The path they took was confusing, sprawling could be a word for it, and Aleks tried not to feel like all of the art pieces were staring at him as they fast-walked across luxury carpet, judging him for his clothes-free state and his scared expression. It was between one corner after they’d taken a flight of stairs and the next that Aleks finally picked up on the commotion coming from just ahead.

“Stay,” The Corpirate said firmly, pressing Aleks against the wall, and then he disappeared through a set of double doors where most of the yelling and what sounded like _gunshots_ was coming from. What the _fuck_ had happened with that? They were supposed to break into his _office_ , what were they doing down _here_?

Okay, he needed to…get the fuck out of here. Something had obviously not gone to plan and he wasn’t going to stick around in his _boxer-briefs_ to get shot by a wayward bullet.

He turned around, ready to figure his way back to the bedroom and maybe try to find his clothes _or_ break into the Corpirate’s office, only to be faced with the barrel of a gun.

“Oh,” He blinked, staring at it, and then turned his eyes to the person holding the gun.

Kovic smiled at him, still fucking dead-eyed as always, lifting the gun to point at the wall and waved, “Yo.”  
“Jesus _fucking_ ,” Aleks collapsed against the wall, his heart literally trying to beat its way out of his chest, “What the _fuck_ are you doing here, man?”

“Kingpin asked us to help you guys out,” Kovic shrugged, “We’d planned to reach out tonight, but we didn’t know you guys were gonna do this so fast! You don’t fuck around.”

“What’s with all the explosions?” Aleks glanced over his shoulder, where the gunfire had begun to die down, “We’re just after some papers, for fuck’s sake,”

“You guys may have underestimated the Corpirate. We...mixed up the plan with Nova and Hundar, I hope you don’t mind. We would have told you, but I’m pretty sure you were getting fucked at the time, so,”

“Fuck you,” Aleks snapped, crossing his arms and glaring, “For your information, I was not _getting fucked_ so maybe hit me up next time with some sort of warning so I don’t get _harpooned_ ,”

“You got it,” Kovic patted him on the head and Aleks totally would have punched him for that, had his arms not been the size of Aleks’ torso. Aleks...shit, if Aleks was gonna be working so close to Fakehaus, he needed to hit the gym.

“Now, turn around and look super scared so we don’t blow your cover. We wouldn’t want any future missions fucked because they found out you were a _cream pot love, arrrgh_ ,” Kovic hooked a finger, squinted one eye closed, and put on his best pirate accent. He also pointed the gun back at Aleks, so Aleks sighed and turned back around, following the nudge of the barrel against his back and doing his best to look as absolutely terrified as possible. It wasn’t _that hard_ , not when he imagined that he _didn’t_ know Kovic. Hell, even _knowing_ Kovic was still scary. Fakehaus was just like the Fake AH; people you could meme with, sometimes, but not people to take anything less than with deadly seriousness.

He walked through the double doors at gunpoint, into the familiar entry hall that he and the Corpirate had first come through, to the picture of most of Fakehaus and a few of his own crew standing over maybe seven kneeling figures and at least ten bodies piled onto the ground.

Asher was midswing and he looked up after bringing the bat down on some poor sap’s shoulder, smiling at them through the scream of his victim.

“Oh my god,” Aleks gagged, voice cracking. He turned to leave but was shoved roughly into the room by Kovic, “Oh my god, oh my god,”  
“Calm the fuck down,” Kovic snapped at him, voice bored, “I found this kid in the hall.”

“Cute,” James stepped forward, just as bored looking as Kovic. He had his rifle slung over his shoulder casually, another bat held loose and bloody in his hand, “You’ve got good taste in booty, dude. A little on the twink side though.”

“This is why we have safety texts,” Aleks hissed at the Corpirate, who was kneeling on the ground next to a few of his guards, instead of saying _fuck you, you asshole_ to James, “ _This is why we have safety texts_ , Teach!”

“Sorry, laddie,” The Corpirate smiled, grim, “Looks like ye may be swimmin’ with the fishes ta’night, after all.”

“Great,” Aleks swallowed, curling his arms around himself tighter and looking around nervously, “So, um...what do you want?”  
“None of your concern, kid, you’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Kovic patted his head again and Aleks resisted the urge to slap his hand away. His hair was a mess, his neck and shoulders were covered in red marks, and he didn’t have any fucking clothes on - it was pretty obvious what they’d been doing and messing up his hair wasn’t gonna be the thing that tipped anyone off to it. He was just glad his body had calmed the fuck down in all the confusion, or this would have been a lot more embarrassing. If Fakehaus was going to help them out, then Aleks had just almost fucked a pirate for _no reason_. Jesus, he needed a shower and a lot more alcohol than he currently had in his system.

“Here, Nova,” Kovic took his shoulder and shoved him hard enough that he stumbled, slamming into James’ chest and just barely managing to not tip them both the fuck over, “Doesn’t seem all that useful to me. Maybe you _cleave him to the brisket_. That’s what they say, right?”

“I don’t know about cleaving anything, but I’m familiar with dead men tell no tales,” James smirked, looking down at Aleks and Aleks glared at him as hard as he fucking could. The pirate puns were literally never going to end. This was the rest of his life, right here.

“Should we beat him to death?” Asher asked, possibly just to fill the silence, and James laughed at the expression on Aleks’ face. Jesus, his crew was fucked up.

“Come on, man,” James got a good grip on Aleks’ shoulder and shook his head at Asher, “You’re not joinin’ in right. We were only gonna talk in pirate slang, remember?”  
“Too much trouble,” Asher wiped his bat off on the Corpirate’s arm without even bothering to glance at his face, “I’d rather just beat him to death.”

“Come on, then,” James nodded toward the door, “You and Intra have a job to do. Then you can beat people to death...more people, anyway. And you,” he nudged Aleks with his rifle, “Time for you to walk the plank, I’m afraid.”

“You got it, boss,” Asher tipped an imaginary hat at Kovic, “Don’t have too much fun without us,”

“No promises,” Lawrence spoke up, having been looking over a vase of some sort he may have picked up from one of the stands around the edges of the room.

James pushed Aleks back toward the door and Aleks turned his eyes to the Corpirate, wondering if he was just going to let the people who broke into his house kidnap his one-night-stand. Teach met his eye but didn’t try to say anything and they broke eye contact as Aleks was led out of the room. Asher shut the door behind them and, the moment it was closed, shrugged off his jacket to hand over.

“Thanks,” Aleks breathed out the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders and pulled Asher’s jacket on, feeling a little less vulnerable with at least some of him covered. “This fuckin’ _sucks_ ,”  
“What?” James glanced at him, already walking. He hadn’t even fucking stopped, the fuckhead, “Were you two having a good time?”  
“Do you understand what I’ve done for this fucking crew?” Aleks snapped back, hurrying to catch up. Asher stayed behind them, not talking. “I almost _fucked a pirate, James._ ”

“You looked like you were all for it half an hour ago,” James hissed and Aleks, stung, went still so suddenly that Asher crashed into him.

“You are _such_ an asshole,” Aleks started again, agitated now, “You’re the one who _told me to do it_ ,”

“I didn’t tell you to do anything, you’re the one who -”

“What, you wanted me to send in Trevor -”  
“You kissed _Joe_ , you fuck,”

“Yeah, because he was my fucking _cover story_ -”

“You didn’t have to make out with him on the fucking dance floor -”  
“Do you know what a cover is? Like do you know, or are you just fucking stupid?”  
“Guys!” Asher interrupted, cutting their growing argument off before it had the chance to get bigger, “Just shut up and watch the door so Intra and I can find what we’re looking for.”

Aleks looked around and realized that he and James had been fighting all the way back to the bedroom.

“James can watch whatever he fucking _wants_ ,” He shot James the bird, “ _I_ am going to find the clothes I lost while I was traumatizing myself seducing a pirate in two-thousand-and-god-damn-seventeen for no goddamn reason. Taking one for the _team_ , you fucking cunt,”

“ _Taking one for the team_ ,” James mimicked back at him in a high-pitched voice, mocking, and Asher just groaned and went to the office. The door was already open, Anna must have already found her way inside, but Asher shut it after him with a slam.

Aleks turned away from James, furious, and started to tear the room apart for his clothes. He found his shoes and socks by the door, where the Corpirate had asked him to take them off, and his shirt was hidden in the dark of a corner.

He was on his hands and knees, looking for his pants under the bed, when James cleared his throat to catch his attention. He looked up, ready to start snapping back to whatever smartass shit James wanted to start spewing now, but lost whatever thought was in his head when he realized how close James had got while he wasn’t paying attention.

“Here,” James frowned, refusing to look at him but offering his pants with his free hand, “They were on the chair in the corner.”

“...Thanks,” Aleks stood up, refusing James’ hand, and grabbed them so he could start to pull them on. They were fucking tight, and not pleasant to wear when he was tense and ready for a fight, but he wasn’t gonna walk out of this fuckin’ place pantsless in the middle of both his and one of the most powerful crews in the country.

They set in an awkward silence while he struggled with his pants and he was finally buttoning them up when James broke it.

“Look, I didn’t mean those things,” He said with an explosive sigh, sitting on the bed and staring at the door they were meant to be watching. “I know you didn’t _want_ to fuck a pirate.”

“No, I didn’t, asshole,” Aleks snapped, refusing to take his eyes off the door, either, “I did it because you guys _asked me to_ , so get off your fucking high horse.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry, okay?” James groaned, finally looking at him, “I was just - angry. Fakehaus kind of bombed us and we had to plan on the fly and it made all of this fucking worthless, so we just fucking sent you into this place for no reason and I was pissed, okay?”

“Did you just apologize?” Aleks asked before he could stop himself, surprised enough that he lost his anger, “What the fuck?”  
“Shut the fuck up,” James tightened his grip on the bat and turned back to the door, “Excuse the fuck out of me, I won’t do it again,”  
“No, hey, shut up,” Aleks cleared his throat, sitting next to him on the bed slowly, “It’s...okay. I know you didn’t mean it.”

James looked at him out of the corner of his eye, leaning back on his hands, “Are you...good? He didn’t hurt you or anything?”  
“Nah,” Aleks shook his head, “Arrogant as fuck and rougher than fuckin’ necessary, but he didn’t hurt me or anything.” He pulled Asher’s jacket off and glanced at his arm, where he’d been grabbed from the moment they’d left the club to when he’d been pinned to the bed, “Except for my arm. He didn’t think I could be trusted to follow so he branded me,”

He showed James the arm and James’ face hardened, cold and blank.

“I’m going to kill him,”  
“Chill,” Aleks snorted, nudging him, “It’s just a few bruises. I’ve had worse.”

James sneered but he traced the bruises gently, hands warm and familiar and _exactly_ what Aleks had been craving every time the Corpirate had touched him. He leaned into the touch without thinking about it, turned to look and James and fuck, this was so totally what he’d been wanting since yesterday when they’d shared James’ cigarette. He leaned forward and kissed him.

James didn’t hesitate, letting go of his arm to cup his jaw. Aleks returned the favor, his fingers finding their place in James’ hair and ruining the bun he’d had it in. The curls felt _right_ , James’ lips and tongue familiar, what Aleks’ needed because had he mentioned that he’d almost fucked a pirate, yet?

“We are not fucking on his bed,” Aleks tried to say, but then James touched his lower back and his mind went fritzy; fuck, they were going to fuck on the Corpirate’s bed. They were going to fuck on the Corpirate’s bed and Anna and Asher were going to be in the fucking office, a door separating them and the bedroom door itself still open and Aleks honestly couldn’t have given less of a shit.

“No, you aren’t.” Asher said firmly, knocking on the office door hard enough that it had them separating, both of them flushed red and a little out of breath.

“Asher, you fucking cockblock,” James groaned, thudding his head onto Aleks’ shoulder. Aleks laughing, feeling a little bit giddy. Maybe it was the adrenaline of the night catching up to him, the fact that he and James had almost fucked on a billionaire’s bed while he was being held captive in his own entry hall, or just the fact that he’d managed to live another day, but his heart was racing and he was pretty sure he was going to pass out, soon.

“Did you find what we were looking for?” He asked, trying to bring himself back to the mission. It was hard with James breathing against his neck, but he was a fucking professional.

“Yes,” Anna answered, lifting a familiar phone, “I borrowed your phone to send it all to Kingpin. He’s received it and his men are mobilizing. They’ll have everything cleaned out by dawn, hopefully.”

“What are we doing with the Corpirate?” Aleks glanced to the door, following James’ example when he finally stood up and shook himself off, “We killing him?”  
“Kingpin wants him alive,” James scoffed, “Apparently, he didn’t send his own twink in because Free was busy draining his accounts. Poor captain’s lost everything in a bad stock market crash set to happen tomorrow at ten a.m. He’s poorer than we were when we started out.”

“What the fuck did this guy do to piss him off so much?” Aleks shook his head, shivering at the thought, “He’s _ruined_ him.”

“Don’t go feeling too bad,” Anna shrugged, “We saw some shit in his office. He’s not just a runner for the drug world,” She pulled a face, “Let’s just say I don’t feel bad for the fuck. I hope the Russians tear him apart for this, like Kingpin said they would.”  
“Russians?” Aleks swallowed, “He works with them?”

“Pretty closely, from his records,” Asher nodded, “Should we torch the place?”

“Take the hard drives,” James looked over the office from the bedroom, “How many files are there?”  
“Not a lot of paper,” Asher shrugged, “Mostly it’s all stored in this,” he held up a hard drive, already removed, and Aleks couldn’t help but smile. Their people were good.

“Take anything that looks important, and then we’re getting the fuck out of here.”

“Got it,” Anna turned back on her heels and disappeared behind the desk for a few seconds. When she returned, there was a pile of files a couple inches thick and Asher shoved it into the pack on her back without needing to be asked, zipping it up firmly and then patting it.

“All set.”  
James nodded and, while Aleks was yanking his shoes on and accepting his phone back from Anna, he dialed someone up.

“We’re set...Kill the guards, but Kingpin wants him alive. We’ll leave him here, whatever. He won’t be able to run. You need help? Cool. Yeah, thanks.”

He hung up, slipped the phone back in his pocket and then turned to look at the three of them, “Let’s get out of here. Fakehaus is gonna take care of the body count so we’re clear to go.”

“Back exit?” Asher asked, already heading for the door, and all three of them followed without bothering to answer. Whatever was gonna happen to the guards, Aleks didn’t doubt that only James would really be able to stomach it.

There were two cars waiting in the back, empty and camouflaged in the bushes, and neither Anna nor Asher hesitated to slip into one, start it, and disappear into the night.  
“See you guys later!” Aleks watched them leave, equal parts amused and annoyed. No fuckin’ loyalty, between the lot of them.

“I’ll drive,” James offered and Aleks nodded, kicking back in the passenger seat and unbuttoning his fucking pants. He was going to be hitting the gym after this.

“Where’re you headed?” James asked, once they hit a main road nearly fifteen minutes after leaving the mansion. He’d set his rifle in its proper box in the back but had neglected to immediately clean it like he usually did and it made something in Aleks feel weird, that maybe James had just wanted to get out of there more than he’d wanted to take care of his gun.

“Home,” Aleks decided, “I need a shower and some fucking dinner and my animals. Celia would never make _pirate booty puns_.”  
“Okay, but those were fuckin’ good,” James laughed, loud and obnoxious, and Aleks bit back his smile at the sound.

“They were fuckin’ terrible. You and Kovic should be ashamed.”  
“Neither of us know what shame is,”  
“That’s the worst part,” Aleks scoffed and James laughed again. They settled into easy conversation, as easy as it always was between them, and didn’t talk about their fight or the mission at all. It put Aleks at ease in a way he hadn’t noticed he needed to be.

When James pulled up to his apartment, Aleks paused with his hand on the handle, licking his lips nervously.

“So, tonight’s been...weird.”  
“Yeah,” James agreed, voice quiet, “It’s been fucked up.”  
“I could, uh, use some company. If you want.” Aleks pushed the door open and got one foot out before he finally looked over at James, “You know, hang out. Games, shitty frozen food.”

“...Yeah, okay,” James nodded, “I’m gonna park, and then I’ll be up.”  
“Awesome,” Aleks kept the smile to a minimum and shut the door loudly behind him. He left his apartment door unlocked, took a very cold shower to scrub off the scurvy from his skin and then brushed his teeth to escape the last traces of the Corpirate. When he got out and dressed in a loose pair of sweats, James was cuddled with Mishka on the couch while the theme to Pirates of the Caribbean played on the TV.

“Seriously?” He sighed, but gave up when James only smirked. He collapsed on the couch, closer than he maybe needed to be, and hit play. Half way through, James disappeared into the kitchen to make dinner and they ate dinosaur chicken nuggets from the same plate while they finished the movie and neither of them brought up the Corpirate or the marks covering Aleks’ neck or the fact that his upper arms were bruised with fingermarks.

James slept in Aleks room, curled around Aleks like a particularly well-crafted body pillow, and they didn’t have sex after all but it was the best Aleks had felt all night. They didn’t talk about it the next morning, but Aleks was okay with that. They didn’t need to talk about it - not about the mission or the aftermath or the fight or the fact that Aleks had seen James every time he’d closed his eyes from the moment Joe had asked him to dance to the moment Kovic had pushed him into the entry hall.

They didn’t need to talk about it because Aleks had the feeling that James knew, and that was enough for him.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [It happened when Brett and James were out of town...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11455242) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)




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